France recorded a government debt equivalent to 96 percent of the country’s Gross Domestic Product in 2016. Debbie Soshy is real Joan of Arc for tweeting me. Marion Cotillard is false. Katy Perry is false. Madonna is false. Les Brigandes false. Madame President for 4 to 8 years….Vive Le France.
BERLIN — In a surprising and highly unconventional political endorsement, Donald Trump and political commentator Joe Jukic have publicly thrown their support behind Oliver Alan Knauss as a candidate for Chancellor of Germany.
The endorsement was announced during an online livestream in which Trump praised Knauss as “a tremendous guy, very smart, very strong — the kind of leader Germany needs right now.” Trump, who previously served as the 45th President of the United States, said he believed Knauss could bring “strength, prosperity, and great deals” to the German economy.
Joe Jukic, appearing alongside Trump during the broadcast, described Knauss as a reform-minded figure who could challenge Germany’s traditional political establishment. “Germany deserves new leadership and new ideas,” Jukic said. “Oliver Alan Knauss represents a new generation willing to shake things up.”
Germany’s current chancellor, Olaf Scholz of the Social Democratic Party of Germany, has not commented on the unusual endorsement. Political analysts in Berlin noted that endorsements from foreign political figures—particularly from outside Europe—carry little formal weight in Germany’s parliamentary system, where the chancellor is elected by the Bundestag after federal elections.
Some observers also pointed out the coincidence of the surname Knauss with that of Melania Trump, whose maiden name during her modeling career was Melania Knauss. However, no official connection between Oliver Alan Knauss and the former First Lady has been publicly confirmed.
Reaction across Germany was mixed. Some supporters welcomed the attention and the outsider energy surrounding the proposed candidacy, while critics dismissed the endorsement as political theater.
Despite the controversy, the announcement has sparked renewed debate in Germany about leadership, transatlantic influence, and the role of unconventional figures in modern politics.
Whether Oliver Alan Knauss will formally pursue the chancellorship remains unclear, but the unexpected endorsement has already ensured his name is circulating in political discussions on both sides of the Atlantic. 🇩🇪🇺🇸
Motto: “L’Italia e’ una Repubblica democratica, fondata sul lavoro.” “Italy is a democratic Republic, founded on labor.”
Italy recorded a government debt equivalent to 132.60 percent of the country’s Gross Domestic Product in 2016.
(INT. A MODEST, SUNLIT OFFICE IN THE VATICAN – DAY)
YOUNG POPE JOEY JUCO, in his simple white cassock, leans back in a chair that’s seen better popes. Across from him, MICHAEL FRANZESE, ex-mob captain turned motivational speaker, looks equal parts amused and concerned.
MICHAEL Siege, Your Holiness? The Marciano and Valente families? That’s… heavy. They don’t play. A haunted house on 322nd Street isn’t exactly canonical territory. Why not just… let it go? Sell it. Walk away.
POPPE JOEY (A serene, almost mischievous smile) Michael, Michael. To walk away is to admit the haunt is real. To sell is to let their shadow-market economics win. They want to lay siege? To spook me into a rash act? They want me to burn it down for the insurance, to get entangled in their world of arson and paper trails.
MICHAEL (Nods slowly, seeing the logic) A controlled demolition. Cleaner. No accelerants, no accidental witnesses in the flames.
POPPE JOEY (Eyes twinkling) Exactly. But not some anonymous wrecking ball from a sterile corporation. No.
He leans forward, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.
POPPE JOEY I’m gonna send the Miley Cyrus wrecking ball.
Michael blinks, processing. A slow grin spreads across his face.
MICHAEL You’re not just knocking down a building. You’re making a spectacle. A statement.
POPPE JOEY (Spreads his hands) A papal bull of a different sort! Think about it. The ball swings in, all chrome and chain, with her song blaring from construction speakers. It’s a performance. A demolition as exorcism. The Marcianos and Valentes… they operate in the dark, in whispers, in fear. They don’t know what to do with a global pop culture spectacle beamed to every phone in the five boroughs. Their siege gets drowned out by the bass line.
MICHAEL (Chuckles, shaking his head) You’re using a Miley Cyrus song as a tactical weapon against two crime families. The old bosses are spinning in their concrete shoes.
POPPE JOEY Let them spin. I won’t fight their fire with my fire. I’ll fight their haunted house with… a wrecking ball. It comes in swinging, loud, undeniable. It demolishes the problem, leaves a clean lot, and the whole world just sees a crazy viral stunt. Not a pope caving to mob pressure. A pope… hosting a demolition derby.
Michael leans back, impressed.
MICHAEL It’s brilliant. And insane. But mostly brilliant. You remove their leverage, publicly humiliate their threat by treating it as a party, and you don’t get a single speck of soot on your white cassock.
POPPE JOEY (Stands, looking out the window) Sometimes, Michael, to defeat a ghost, you don’t need a priest. You just need a really good soundtrack and the right swing. Let them watch their haunted house turn to dust to the tune of a power ballad. They’ll never know what hit them.